Wandering Hands
by bellagill92
Summary: It was quite troublesome for Rogue to realize that the sister of the girl he had accidentally fondled was a complete and utter psychopath who still saw her baby sister as a five-year-old. (Implied Rogue/Yukino)


**A/N: So, I've been meaning to post this random piece for a while. It was half-finished and since the ever-approaching Jerza love-fest has me procrastinating, there I went, developing a whole different setting… It ended up less funny than it felt in my head. Oh, well…**

**Also, I am yet to figure out if Frosh is a boy or a girl, so I decided to just go with 'girl' for this fic. Hope it doesn't bother you.**

It was in days like these that Rogue Cheney got the most up-to-date with his reading.

What sort of days, one might ask? Days after a party, by which he meant a page-taken-out-of-Fairy-Tail's-book sort of party. Days when Sting was nursing the parent, grandparent and great-grandparent of all hangovers. Days when Minerva made a point of demonically punishing him for it by producing a shocking amount of noise around his hung-over self. Days when Orga was moping around with a massively sore throat from the screeching he attempted to pass as singing. Days when Rufus was desperately trying to forget the previous day's events. Days when Yukino politely pretended not to be embarrassed about something or other that had taken place the previous day.

Honestly, he didn't even know what the party had been about that time. Sabertooth was steadily becoming of those partying guilds where no one really needed a valid reason to party, which he couldn't help finding a little troubling, what with his quieter personality. He vaguely recalled Sting trying to get him to toast to the health of Orga's cat at some point – maybe it had been the feline's birthday?

In any case, he'd escaped early, not long after Frosh had passed out from all the excitement, and now, one day later, he'd made a point of staying away from the cloud of shame and misery looming over the guild by escaping to the town's library, where he busied himself with some reading while his exceed drew childish stick-figure draws in a piece of paper.

He would have probably spent the whole day peacefully like that, weren't it for the interruption he suffered as someone cleared their throat nearby. He looked up from his book to find none other than Yukino's sister there.

"Can I help you?" he asked Sorano, a bit uncomfortable.

He honestly had no idea how to feel about the woman. She had only joined the guild, along with her heavily made-up, constantly sleeping friend, Midnight, a few weeks before, carrying some dark baggage with her and a long list of parole conditions. She might seem harmless at first, all angelic wear and halo-like hairdo, but that was as far as the 'angelic' vibe went.

She was a grade-A bitch.

Now, he wasn't one to judge, seeing as his future self was as evil as they came, and he wouldn't be caught dead disrespecting a woman under normal circumstances but Sorano Aguria was most certainly the bitchiest bitch he had ever met… and that came from someone who had spent years as Minerva Orlando's guildmate. Maybe that explained why Angel and their lady had taken to one-another as if they were kindred-spirits, becoming the fastest friends he had ever seen in his life (much to Sting's suffering who, as the Guild Master and under the terms or Minerva's own parole, was mandated to remain within fifty feet of her at all times, day and night, sun and rain, with or without bitchy best friend on a tow… Rogue both felt for his friend and was glad not to be in his shoes).

It was easy to doubt she was even Yukino's sister when they were apart, their personalities being polar opposites. When they got together, however, it was a whole different side of Angel showing: a side that watched over Yukino like she was five (he was pretty sure he'd seen her trying to cut up her food once) and acted fiercely protective of her; a side that, overbearingness aside, had Yukino smiling more during those weeks of togetherness than Rogue had ever seen smile before. And he wasn't sure why, but there was something about Yukino Aguria's smiles that felt… sacred to him.

So, really, he didn't have the faintest idea of how to feel about Sorano. It would be easy to dislike her for the bitchiness but also to like her for Yukino's happiness. That was yet to be decided.

"You're a huge nerd who practically lives here, right?" she asked, sounding bored.

Rogue's eye trembled. He was starting to lean more towards dislike.

"I need help finding a book," she informed him, aimlessly checking her nails.

He raised an eyebrow. "That's what the librarians are here for."

"Like I have time to spare to stuck-up bitches," Sorano said, rolling her eyes.

Frosh looked up, eyes wide. "Bad word," she whispered like a child.

Rogue sent her a look that both acknowledged the statement and told her to quiet down for her own sake. Then, he turned back to Sorano, set on being a good guild mate by providing her with help. "What sort of book do you need?"

"The kind that has all the blood and guts."

He raised an eyebrow. What? "That could either be gory horror or medical text books," he had to point out.

She gave him a look. "What would I need gory horror for?" _When I've already caused so much of it…_ was left unsaid.

"So… medical text books?"

She gave him a look. "Is that a problem?"

"N… no, not really. I just wasn't aware you were interested in the healing arts," he stated.

"Only certain fields," she said shortly, her tone clearly saying 'shut up already'.

He got to his feet. "I'll be right back, Frosh," he told his exceed.

"Okay," she said airily, still drawing with her crayons.

When Rogue walked away from the table, headed to the general area where the medicine-related literature was located, he didn't bother looking back at her, assuming she was following. It was a large section, spanning along a whole corridor, but the specificity of its themes rid it nearly devoid of visitors, leaving him alone with Sorano in it.

"This is the medical section," he informed her. "The books are arranged by medical specialty. If you have one in particular…"

"…amputations," she provided without hesitation.

He paused for a moment, his mind blank. "_What?_" Rogue couldn't help asking.

"It means chopping off body parts," she informed him before mumbling under her breath. "_Loser doesn't even make a decent nerd._"

"I _know_ what it means," he insisted, unamused. Seriously, though, if she went around cutting people's limbs, the guild would be under a lot of trouble since, as her parole overseers, they were partially responsible for any crime she committed. "But I can't help wondering why you're so interested in it."

"So I can do it, _obviously_," she replied, a 'you're stupid' subtext all over her tone.

His eyes widened, too focused on the alarming situation to care about the insult. "You mean in an emergency, right?"

"Sure. I would say a wandering hand landing on my sister's unexpecting breast would require _urgent_ removal."

Sirens went off all over his head. A big, red sign containing the word 'danger' flashed repeatedly in his mind. Crap. Oh, crap, he was dead.

"Our Master sure chatters a lot when he's hitting the bottle," she said, sounding far too matter-of-factly for it to be safe. Her whole behavior screamed 'raving psychopath'. "Yesterday night, imagine my surprise when he told the whole guild a very interesting story about a lost frog and wandering hands. Everyone found it _so _amusing, but I just couldn't bring myself to laugh. Because, you see, it was my baby sister… my _only _family, who was molested by said 'wandering hand'."

He could almost see the countdown to his death. He was going to meet his end at the hands of the sister of the sweetest girl he knew… Dear god, why? It had been an accident! Why did it have to happen with the sister of a complete psycho?

"You probably won't find it surprising that my first instinct upon hearing the story was to feel tempted to hunt the culprit down and break his upper limbs beyond recognition but, lucky for him, Yukino begged me not to and went on and on about how it had been an accident and how he'd apologized and it would be just so out-of-character to him for it to be covertly on purpose, not to mention that it might get me arrested again… She wouldn't quit until I promised not to hurt the dirty pervert and I wouldn't want to make my Yuki-chan sad by breaking that promise."

He got some relief from hearing that and yet, somehow, he was sure it wasn't over. Not nearly.

"But, of course, the promise only applies to that time. And, you see, I thought I'd read up on limb removal in case it _ever _happens again. I was wondering what the most painful way to do it would be. In fact, just to be safe, I think I'll instate the rule that, unless Yuki-chan says '_Please lay your perverted Dragon Slayer hand on my unblemished breast_' to the shameless molester, I am going to chop his whole arm off with a blunt object even if it just goes within, say, five or six inches of the breast in question."

Somehow, he couldn't picture Yukino repeating those words verbatim. And, for that reason, he started to think that his upper limbs were already gonners, keeping in mind the new five-inch rule. Honestly, how was he supposed to measure how close his whole arm was to Yukino's chest? How would that work out in battle settings?

"So, amputations?" Sorano asked, almost sweetly, rather satisfied with how her thinly-veiled threat had come out. "Where can I find the books about them?"

He couldn't breathe for a moment, which caused him to hesitate. "Likely under Orthopedics," he said in a strangled tone. "Ex-excuse me," he stuttered. "I need to go back to Frosh…"

She waved him off carelessly. "Run along. I'm sure I'll be able to take it from here. I'm too _eager_ not to."

He cringed. God. He was in trouble – really, he wished she'd just killed him or maimed him in the spot. Living with the threat was just so much worse…

He dragged his feet the whole way back to his and Frosh's table and found her still there, coloring away. When she spotted him, she eagerly put the crayon down and showed him her draw. "Rogue, look."

He did. And, again, he cringed. There he was in stick-figure form accompanied not only by stick-figure-Frosh but also by a certain powder-blue-haired character clad in a blue and white dress. "Is that… Yukino?" he asked in alarm.

The frog wannabe nodded, looking proud. "Frosh loves Yukino. Frosh wants Rogue to love Yukino too so Rogue, Frosh and Yukino can be a family," the exceed said matter-of-factly, retouching the color of Yukino's dress. "But not Yukino's sister too. Frosh thinks she's scary."

Rogue gulped, hard. Although his brain wouldn't stop screaming at him about how the first part of Frosh's wish could never, ever, _ever_ come true, he really couldn't help agreeing with the second.

"Yeah… Rogue thinks so too."


End file.
